Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain

I never realized how much of an impact Anthony Bourdain had on my life until I read about his passing. I've never been the type of person to make a big deal when a celebrity dies. I didn't know them it's not really my place to mourn them you know? I liked, or hell even loved their work sure but did that give me the right to make this about myself? Something about Bourdain's passing though hit me in away that hadn't happened before. Now here I am a few years later being one of those asshole's making it all about me. 

I grew up watching No Reservations and Parks Unknown. I liked alot of travel shows but Anthony Bourdain was almost my favorite. When I got older I read Kitchen Confidential the novel that novel that kick started his career and thoroughly enjoyed it. His no bullshit, no pomp, no fluff just worked really well with me. He was never afraid to show the truth about his travels. Crucially, he wasn't afraid to call out America and Americans on their bullshit. Bourdain, to me, felt like some sort of sage. He was wise and had an attitude about life that I really related to and hoped to live by.

When I heard about the film Roadrunner: A Film About Anthony Bourdain I was initially excited. It seemed like a nice tribute to him. Then I heard about it's strange choice to use A.I. to replacte his voice and I was kind of grossed out. Was this film just exploiting him? I mean they are his words, he wrote them he just hasn't spoken then outloud. Does this make it more okay? They got permission from his state sure, but his Widow seems to think Anthony wouldn't be cool with it. Should I be worried about the ethics or should I even care? I wasn't even sure. I decided to see the film for myself and judge it from that.

Then the theatrical release came around and that's what I planned to do, go see the film. Life got in the way though. Looking back now I don't even remember what was going on, I just remember the film came and went and I missed it. So I figured I had to wait for it to come to streaming. Now about a year later it's out on HBO Max and I finally took the time to sit down and watch the film.

Roadrunner is an interesting, messy, and complicated film. It is pretty free flowing and feels simultaneously aimless and incredibly focused. Half of it feels like an extended episode of one of Anthony Bourdain's T.V. shows. The other half feels like a messy puzzle trying to solve his suicide and his life. I think this is where the film falls shortest for me. It spends to long focusing on how he died and not on celebrating his life. A chef, father, traveler, T.V. Host, Author, Philosopher, Anthony Bourdain was all of these things and more and I wish the film spent a bit more time exploring all these aspects of his life.

Watching Roadrunner I got this strange feeling. It's the same feeling I got the first time I watched Bo Burnham's Inside. It's a strange melancholic mix of ennui and comfort. My life is going good, I have a stable job that pays well. I have a beautiful wife I love more than I thought possible. I have a son who is my entire world and another kid on the way. Despite all of this I often feel like I'm not happy. Why don't I feel happy? I have nothing to be unhappy about, in fact it's the opposite I have plenty to be happy about it. It's not that I'm never happy either, I very often am, I do wish I was more consistently happier though. But seeing that someone like Anthony Bourdain deals with the same feelings and putting it into words is strangely comforting.

I don't want to dwell on his death, but perhaps that's why it effected me so much. Someone I looked up to, someone I strive to be like, if he lost a battle against the same things I struggle with what does that mean for me? I'm no Anthony Bourdain. But here I go being that self centered cunt making things about me again.

Roadrunner isn't a perfect film, but I suppose that is fitting for a man like Anthony Bourdain. I do wish the film didn't dwell so much on his passing, but rather hypocritically I guess that's what I've done as well. The A.I. voice I think is rather obvious when it is used and is slightly off-putting. I'm still unsure ethically what it means but that is a problem I fear is going to become much more prevalent as we move forward. If you are a fan of Anthony Bourdain I would say the film is a must watch, for better or for worse. I would also recommend the film to anybody regardless of if they have even heard of Anthony Bourdain. The film is a life in a bottle. It isn't a complete picture sure and despite it's flaws it does contain little moments and little lessons that I can think everyone can benefit from experiencing and learning from.